Farfetched
by xXxAnGeLFLoNnExXx
Summary: He just wants to punch the madman who kidnapped him, so why is he off to save the world again? ...Goodbye, peaceful life. Reincarnation. fem!Luke who considers himself as a guy. No pairings. One-shot.


**MY DEAR SWEET LAPTOP-HUSBAND NEEDS SPACE FOR REBORN KATEKYO HITMAN'S CHAPTER TWO. POSTED THIS TO ERASE IT IN MY FILES.**

**If anyone's confused, Luke still considers himself a guy. So pronouns pertaining to him will be male-centric. Unless I am narrating from other people's side of the story, of course.**

**R &amp; R.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

It all began after the events in Auldrant.

Basically, he died and was very much prepared to bid his farewell to his old life and into wherever dead people go to. However, there was no breathtaking place with clouds as floors, no fiery pits threatening to swallow him whole; not even a blank, empty space where he should have ended up in when a person dies. Heck, there wasn't even that bright light people say when they have a near-death experience!

Instead, he found himself as a baby, born in a commoner's family. It was uncomfortable, seeing as he was a mere infant and yet had an older mindset. Not only that, he also felt that there was something seriously wrong with him. It wasn't until he was a year old or so that he realized why was uneasy.

He was a _girl_.

It was disconcerting enough to know he's alive again, when he was really sure he died, then noticed that he was missing a certain part.

Either way, the red-haired boy-girl-whatever remained referring to himself as a boy.

He may be physically female, but he still has the mind of a boy. He considers himself as a male. And there really wasn't any problems with his new body. Luke didn't mind— it's only his body, after all. Besides, he had been excited to know what it was that made Natalia's face turn red whenever he asked.

(Note the word, _had_. He was sorely disappointed when he found out what it was. Bra and panties? There wasn't anything embarrassing about that. It's not like Natalia was naked if someone saw her.)

_Maybe this whole second life thing wouldn't be so bad, _Luke mused. _Nothing's much changed._

Yes, he was no longer in Auldrant (the world was called Terca Lumireis now) and yes, there were no fonons anywhere (people looked at him weirdly when he asked), but this was still his life— no longer a noble but still with his parents, and still living along with other people. His new-found gender doesn't change anything.

In fact, he's actually using this experience to discover why females had been so skittish when it comes to showing some skin. It was only a bit of skin, too— he didn't understand why they made such a big fuss about it.

The only downside was that though this was his life— it wasn't _his_. In this world, he was a she. There was no Guy, no Tear, no Natalia… not even Thing or Asch.

_Oh, who am I kidding?_

He eventually bangs his head on the wall and simply decides to blame Fate for this unfortunate turn of events. Maybe the universe was just out to get him and want to see him suffer emotional pain; he missed his friends terribly.

_In this life._

In this life, Luke is Lucania; has that red hair with gold tips, has the same green eyes, but completely alone. His parents weren't unkind, but it wasn't the same. Yet he could not help but think how lucky he was. In his old life, he had parents who accepted him even after finding out he wasn't their real son. Currently, he has loving parents who won't think twice to provide everything he wanted and needed.

It made his chest feel warm and light inside.

Sometimes, he idly wondered if the others had been reincarnated, too. It would be nice to see what they would look like or what kind of people they would be, but then he'd crush that thought afterward.

As much as he would want to see them again, Luke wasn't so sure if he'd break down or hug any of his friends if he'd ever meet them. Girl or not, he wouldn't want to make a big fool out of himself. Or in public, at the very least.

He couldn't socialize with other kids that much as they were in that 'girls have cooties' phase and Luke spent time learning more about the world, no matter how much he wanted to go outside and play. Contrary to popular belief, though he hated studying in general, he did enjoy reading history. Maybe it was the inner Lorelei in him, but he liked knowing why and how things happened in the past.

Other than that, he actually took up cooking as a hobby. During his journey back in his past life, he had quite enjoyed learning how to cook—beating Natalia, but that's beside the point—and baking things. He always did have a bit of a sweet tooth.

His parents were, of course, fully supportive and urged him to eventually put up a restaurant or a bakery of his own once he grew up. When he voiced out that it would be costly and they'd rack up many debts, they only smiled at him and said,

"Oh, Luca, dearie. Don't you worry about that. Besides, I'm sure that we'll be able to pay the loans once your business starts."

Then he'd argue about his education (he finds it tedious and unneeded, though) and his mother would give him that _look_. It was no secret that he wasn't very fond of studying.

And that was the end of that. It didn't hurt that his mother had all the pastry and bread recipes passed down in their family via his grandmother (whom he never got to know).

Once he was sixteen, with help from his family, he officially opened his own bakery— as restaurants were too costly and required a lot of maintenance. As expected, the sales weren't booming at first, but their work paid off as it gradually grew and they raked in more customers.

Recently, things weren't going so well.

Ever since the old magistrate was replaced by some man named Ragou, everything went downhill. Impossibly large taxes were imposed on them, almost rendering the shop bankrupt and forcing him to double his workload. It was hard since his parents were around anymore to lend a hand. Not only that, the townspeople are sent on a wild goose chase for a monster named Rhybgaro, with the reward of pardoning their taxes.

Honestly, that kind of treachery is one of the oldest tricks in the book. However, Luke doesn't blame the others for falling into the magistrate's trap as they were getting desperate. Not to mention the excessive floods that destroyed some of the crops and halted a few farming businesses.

The non-stop raining was getting depressing, too.

Unfortunately, as Luke was just a nobody, he couldn't do anything about it. As long as the Empire turns their blind eye on their quaint little town, Capua Nor was doomed.

In the end, Luke had to close his bakery and sell it to survive with what little gald he had.

One day…

* * *

Luke opened his eyes and blinked in shock as he was greeted by pitch black. He groggily sat up and groaned loudly as his head inwardly thumped in pain. He gingerly placed a hand on his forehead and winced when he felt a bump and something wet on his hair. _Must've had a small cut. No wonder I'm having a mild concussion._

After making sure he was no longer feeling dizzy, his eyes roamed over his surroundings. It wasn't as pitch black as he initially thought, as there were dim lights on the walls, but it was still dark enough to make him uncomfortable. Add the fact that it smelled rather foul and rotten like something died in there— and when his eyes wandered to a corner, he froze.

Correction. Some_one_ died in there. Several someones.

_Oh, for Yulia's sake…!_

The heavy stench of blood and rotting corpses made his eyes tear up and the familiar feeling of bile rising up in his throat. _How did I end up here again?_

He heard a shuffling movement to his side and he almost shrieked in alarm, "Who's there?"

"M-Miss Luke, is that you?" A childish voice replied. He sighed in relief as he realized there was no imminent threat. _Yet_.

"Pauly," He spoke softly to Teagle's son. "do you remember how we got here?"

He felt the child's hands clinging onto his dusty and grime-covered uniform—he inwardly grimaced on the thought of washing it all off later—and he hugged the kid as his voice trembled. "I… there was an old man and," He hiccuped whilst Luke rubbed circles onto his back. "a-and the mean man took me… then you came a-and…!"

Pauly could no longer hold back the tears. "I want to go home!"

"It'll be fine, Pauly," It wasn't hard to figure out what happened. It was old news that Pauly's father, Teagle, along with many others, were being pressured by the magistrate's hired muscles to hurry on with the hunt. They must have planned to use Pauly as an incentive, and it was just his luck to witness it and get involved. There was another throb from his head wound and he groaned silently. "We'll get home soon. Just— let's just lay down and sleep for now."

The red-haired baker could not see it very well, but he was sure the child nodded and dozed off in his embrace. His brave front fell and he gritted his teeth. Now, how was he going to escape?

His musings were cut off short when he heard a door or a gate opening inside the sandy-bottomed basement and he braced himself for whatever that caused it. A cold, sharp laugh rang in his ears and he tried his best not to let the volume worsen his headache.

"Well, well. It looks like I've stumbled upon a great treasure," A voice that he recognized as the magistrate's had said. "Not only one, but _two_ snacks for my little pets' meal. How lovely."

"Why would you do this?"

"Hah, I wouldn't expect people from an undignified class to understand such pleasures." The man chuckled. "You need not worry, for now. I still have prior volunteers for my pets." He could hear footsteps fading away before something metallic made a loud clang on the floor. When Luke squinted his eyes, he saw that it was a dagger.

"Of course, it wouldn't be as much fun if the prey doesn't fight back. Enjoy what little time you have left."

The door-gate-whatever closed with a resounding bang.

Luke sneered and punched the floor in frustration. Looks like he'll have to play by that bastard's rules in the meantime.

He slumped towards the wall and let the darkness take over.

* * *

Luke jolted awake and looked around in panic. He calmed down when he saw Pauly safe and sound in his arms. _How long have we been here? _There was a small growling noise that caught his attention.

"I'm hungry," Pauly explained. _Well, I'm sort of hungry, too._ Luke reached into his pockets and found a couple of candies. _Good thing I always bring some with me._ He handed one to the boy. "I'm sorry, but this is only what I have." The child gratefully took it.

There was another growling noise, but much louder than before.

"Um, Pauly, was that your…?"

"N-No…"

A sweat rolled down the side of his face. "_Shit._"

He stood up and immediately went for the sword. He pushed Pauly back. "Stay there behind me, close your eyes, and don't watch."

"O-Okay!"

There was a rushed clicking sound of claws on the floor and the air suddenly shifted. Luke readjusted his grip on the sword and took a deep breath, ready for the monsters' lunge. _I hope I'm not too out of practice._

Instincts kicked in and he stabbed forward, hearing the whine of the wolf-like monster he struck. More monsters came closer and got aggressive. _Probably because I just killed one of their own,_ He thought darkly. When the enemies pounced, Luke swiftly stabbed and sliced them as much as he could. As the basement was only dimly-lit, he couldn't perform a clean hit and simply settled with stabbing them randomly.

"That's all you got?" The wolves warily gazed at the two before more howling ensued. He then noticed that three more wolves appeared, making it a total of six. They kept their distance, watching him, and might be waiting for Luke to lower his guard. He clicked his tongue.

"Numbers will get you nowhere!" He taunted. It may not have been a good choice, but he was tired and hungry and really didn't give a damn since Pauly was safely hiding behind him.

Luke valiantly fought them off, however, fatigue was getting to him, and one of the wolves managed to bite his arm. It didn't help that Pauly never stopped crying. He fell on one knee and the monsters managed to back them into a corner.

"Pauly, I need you to calm down."

"B-But—"

"Calm down and listen to me," Luke hissed. "When I count to three, _run_!"

"M-Miss Luke, I—"

"One."

"I-I can't…!"

"Two."

"I'm scared!"

"Three." The baker charged and leapt, catching the wolves off-guard. "_Go_."

"O-O-Okay!" The child scrambled away from them. Unfortunately, one managed to take notice of Pauly and chased after.

His eyes widened. "Pauly!"

"Fireball!" Someone shouted.

The monster after the boy was incinerated before Luke could blink in surprise. Four people were rushing to their aid— one dark-haired male around his age, a pink-haired female, a brunette, and a brown-haired kid following not too far from them while carrying a huge axe.

Luke sighed and collapsed on both of his knees as their rescuers quickly got rid of the wolves. "That was a close call," He muttered.

"Tell me about it," Their dark-haired savior replied. The pink-haired female in their group—He raised an eyebrow at her golden-lined white dress. Psh, nobles—approached them and quickly healed his wounds with a First Aid. Pauly's scrapes were healed, too.

The man asked. "You are?"

"Lucania Fabre, just call me Luke." It was ironic that his surname remained the same, but belonged to a commoner, as seen with the lack of 'fon'. "Over there's Pauly. You know, it's only polite to give your name."

"Isn't that a guy's name? Oh, and… Yuri Lowell." He offered a hand to help him stand. He gestured at his own companions. The pink-haired healer smiled. "I'm Estellise, but you can call me Estelle!"

"Karol Capel." That brown-haired kid said. The other brunette only nodded at him in acknowledgment. The former jabbed a thumb in her direction. "That's Rita Mordio."

"I know it's a guy's name, but I don't generally care," Luke shrugged off. Besides, he couldn't exactly say _It's my name because I used to be a guy in my past life_. Estelle turned towards them. "Can you tell us what happened?" He gave them a short narration of the recent events and noted how their faces darkened after his brief account.

"How horrible," Estelle says.

"Right, so moving on. What are _you_ people doing in this hell in a hand basket? It's pretty obvious that old coot didn't capture you."

"The Imperial Knights need to search the mansion for proof of Ragou's crimes." He hm-ed thoughtfully at that. It was very unusual that the Empire would enlist help from a ragtag bunch, much less in an investigation. Then again, he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth and there's also Estelle's questionable noble-like presence…

"Yeah. Um, thanks."

The group settled with forming around Pauly and Luke, as they were currently the most vulnerable targets. They ran into the occasional monster, but Yuri and Rita swiftly dealt with them. After a while, they reached a room divided by bars where half had bones and sand, while the other had stairs leading upward. Luke's eyes narrowed when he saw an old man wearing dark robes. His hands clenched tightly. _Ragou._

"Well, well, what do we have here?" The old man said. "More delicious snacks for my pet, it seems."

"So, you're Ragou?" Yuri dismissively eyed the man. "You've got some pretty disgusting hobbies."

"Hobbies? Oh, you must mean my basement," The man's voice grated on Luke's nerves. "Only someone with my refined sensibilities could understand the pleasure I derive—" And he droned out the man's tirade about the council and the others' responses. His vision was flickering. Damn. He must be really worn out.

That is, until that last tidbit. His vision focused in on the offender.

"What did you say?" Luke's temper was flaring.

"Oh, I said no lies." The magistrate had the gall to look smug. "I just have to place a few sums in different places and I'll be able to replace my pet. It's so easy to—"

In a fit of rage, the red-haired baker threw the dagger across the room, getting a clean cut across Ragou's left cheek. He spoke in a careful, well-disguised angered tone. "If I wasn't hungry or tired, I wouldn't have missed. Too bad." From the side, Yuri grumbled under his breath. "Remind me not to piss you off."

Estelle yells. "Ragou! How can you say such things and still call yourself a servant of the Empire?!"

He jumps startled, and became shell-shocked. "What? …You… But that's impossible!" He stammers. Yuri took the chance to flip the sword in his hand and struck the bars with one well-aimed Arte. The bars immediately collapsed and the impact knocked Ragou down. The magistrate scrambled back up and pointed a shaky finger at them. "S-Stay back! W-What do you intend to do?!"

He fled, yelling, "Someone! Arrest these intruders!"

Their rescuers gave chase almost leaving the two behind. Luke snorted as he picked Pauly up and went after them. "For some old man in a dress, he sure runs fast!"

He saw them chatting a bit, Ragou out of sight. The brunette was typing away in front of a large, conspicuous machine at the top of the stairs. It reached the ceiling of the two-story room, with a second-story platform at the side, a large glowing blue thing at their level, and a smaller one on the second.

Luke didn't care much for what they were talking about, as it was not his business, and simply sat on the floor with Pauly in his arms.

"Really, what a way to behave in someone else's home."

The grating voice of the magistrate echoed and the baker felt another incoming headache. That irritating condescending tone was back. "The time has come for you to earn your keep. I want all of them captured." Once he's back in tip-top shape, he'll punch that man's ugly mug. "Whatever happens though, take care not to kill the young lady in white!" Must be Estelle. But what would Ragou want with her? Is she a princess of some sort? _Man, I have got to keep up with recent politics._

"No way! Are these guys from the Blood Alliance?" Karol exclaimed. Luke blinked. _Blood Alliance… _He became horrified when he realized what Karol meant. _Isn't that some kind of big-shot guild?!_

Everyone engaged a Blood Alliance member— even Luke as he fended off those who went after him and Pauly. He quickly discarded the dagger and took the sword of a fallen member before hefting Pauly in his arms. "Better hang on!" He quickly hacked and slashed away, rapidly disposing of their enemies. After his deed, Yuri and the other stared at him.

"What?"

"You're quite skilled with the sword, Luke." Estelle commented.

"I'm actually quite rusty now since I haven't held a sword in a while." He seldom trains because he'd been busy with the whole bakery business. They were interrupted when out of a door comes a blond knight and his two helpers.

"Magistrate, I don't know what's happened here, but allow us to offer our assistance." Flynn addressed Ragou.

"Flynn?!"

"There, see?"

Ragou mutters something under his breath. Then out of the blue, a huge scaled beast flew in with a white-armored figure on its back.

"Whoa…! Is t-that the dragon rider?!" They could only watch the beast go as it flew towards the blastia, dodging the magic attacks from Witcher, one of Flynn's helpers. Luke's eyes were locked onto the figure riding on the whale-like beast. There was something familiar with the rider.

"Wait!"

"Damn, he'll get away!"

The rider and the beast left after the blastia was destroyed, using the smoke from the magic attacks to distract them.

"Prepare my ship!" Ragou shouted in urgency. Yuri turned towards him. "Where do you think you're going?!"

_Huh,_ Luke deadpanned. _I almost forgot about him. _

* * *

"Finally!" Luke has never been more thankful to see the sun again. "We're out of that hell hole!"

Yuri approached them. "You can go home now, right?"

Pauly spoke up. "You're going to go get that bad Ragou person, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we want to hurry."

"It's okay. I can go home by myself." He waves at the baker before going back into town. "Thanks, Miss Luke!"

While Estelle was hesitating on something and they were chatting up a bit, Rita and Luke headed for Ragou's private dock. The others eventually followed.

"Hey, why are you coming with us?" The mage inquired, just behind Luke.

The red-haired baker grinned cheekily. "Ragou owes me a punch!" It was only adrenaline and the prospect of damaging the magistrate's face that urged him to run fast. Rita snorted but didn't disagree with his reason. Well, everyone wanted to punch him, too, with a side dish of Fireball and a few slashes. Needless to say, they were out for blood.

They all jumped onto the boat. When Rita opened a box, she yells in astonishment. "These are all blastia cores!" The rest came and took a peek. Karol's eyebrows scrunched up a bit. "Why are there so many? And they're all just cores…"

"I have no idea. We don't even have this many at the laboratory!"

"Could this be connected to the core thief?"

"Could be," Yuri replied. Luke had a pensive expression on his face. He didn't understand what they were talking about though he didn't bother asking since it wasn't any of his business anyway. "I wonder if the core from the lower quarter is here someplace."

"Sorry, none of these are big enough."

When more members of the Blood Alliance showed up, Luke was overwhelmed by the fast pace situation that he only managed to think clearly after they fought a one-eyed guy named Barbos and some crazy psychotic man obsessed with Yuri. It was kind of hard for his brain to catch up when they dove into the water, then lug off with an unconscious blond-haired royalty, and then got rescued by Flynn and the knights.

He hung his uniform and settled with a plain white long-sleeved shirt and black fitted pants. As he dried his clothes off, he could only think on what will happen next.

_Maybe running after Ragou wasn't such a good idea._

He had no idea that wanting to punch a corrupt official's face would end up with him on a journey to save the world.

* * *

**And that's it for now. This was supposed to be a multi-chapter but I'm not inspired enough. Besides, I still have other stories to attend to~~~!**

**Ciao ciao~! -Flonne.**


End file.
